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January 2, 2013
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Pokémon fan fic Ch.1

*Note that this is a rough outline of what I want to write about, if I don't like it its unlikely the story will continue! hahah*
P.S I'm winging this so badly its not funny XD



Ch.1

The sound of rain dissipates the silent night, the sound of thunder cracking the sky follows.
"I'm home!" shouted Kyo in a silent, broken tone.
"Welcome home Kyo!" replied Kyo's mother as she quickly walked to the front door. "You're saturated! quick, go have a shower or something before you catch a cold!"
Kyo looked at his mother with sadness in his eyes. " 'Kay" replied Kyo as he walked upstairs in the far left corner of the house.
"Kyo….something wrong?" Kyo's mother asked with a concerned voice. "Everything's……fine. Im going to get cleaned up and head to bed"
"What about din--" "Not hungry.." Interrupted Kyo. "Night"

That night..

"What am I going to do…" thought Kyo to himself "I can't tell mum, at least not yet-she's got enough to handle as it stands" he continues as he releases a lasting sigh
~I wanna be the very best like no one ever was~ sung Kyo's X-transceiver.
~To catch them is my real test to train them is my cause~ Continued the X-transceiver
~I will travel ac---~ finally snapping Kyo back into the real world. "Hello?" questioned Kyo. "Kyo you idiot!" shouted the person on the other end of the X-transceiver, screeching in Kyo's ear. Raising his hand slowly to his forehead. "Why hello to you too Ayumi! I'm great than--" "Answer your calls faster!" states Ayumi cutting Kyo off.

"Surely you didn't call this time of night just to insult me…oh wait, yeah that sounds like something you'd do" says Kyo in a sarcastic-like voice, while staring at the 'Audio only' symbol on his Transceiver. "I-I-I was just calling to…" Ayumi starts to mumble "..see if you're okay…" she says in a quite almost innocent voice.
"Hm? what was that?" asked Kyo "N-n-n-nothing…. sh-shut up! Idiot!" shouts Ayumi. "I'm calling to see if you're ready for tomorrow!" she adds.
"Tomorrow…what was tomorrow…." Kyo states as he questions himself "You've forgotten…?! IT'S WHEN WE MEET PROFESSOR JUNIPER!" stresses Ayumi.
"Oh yeah…that.." replies Kyo, calmly and clearly. " 'Oh yeah'?! Is that ALL you have to say to that?!" huffs Ayumi "Yeah, pretty much." in reply to Ayumi. Kyo hears the sound of a facepalm over the Transceiver "Honestly" Ayumi says followed by a sigh and a giggle "you really haven't changed at all since we were kids, have you Kyo" Ayumi states as she lets out a cheeky giggle. Kyo is taken back and blushes a bit "Hey I've gotten taller thank you!" laughs Kyo followed by Ayumi.
"Kyo, I'm going to---" says Kyo's mother as she stands in front of Kyo's door, unintentionally listening in on Kyo's conversation.
"How are you holding up…?" questions Ayumi breaking the sound of laughter with an intense vibe.
"Honestly…not so good…I don't know how to tell mum that I've lost my job….." says Kyo as his voice slowly shifts tone. "I mean…I've lost my job…Dad is no longer with us and…" continues Kyo, followed by a slow sigh.

"And?" wonders Ayumi. "And well…I just can't tell her…she's got enough to handle"
"Hey, I'm sure it'll be fine…I mean everything happens for a reason….right?" declares Ayumi, trying to convey a positive flow of emotion. "I guess you're right…I'm going to bed, I'll see you tomorrow" replies Kyo, trying to reinforce positive feelings and suppressing negative thoughts. "Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow take care for now though! bye!" Ayumi ends the call with a sincere goodbye.
"Che…honestly I do not know what goes on in that girls mind" Kyo smiles to himself.

Better get ready for bed then."
Kyo gets up and turns off the light.
"OW!" Shouts Kyo following the sound of cracking glass. Kyo hobbles back over to the light to see what had made the sound of cracking glass. "Oh damn it all!" banes Kyo, shattered, just like the now scattered glass on the floor "Why did I have to break this of all pictures?!" rants Kyo brushing the shards of glass off the picture.
"Heh…" Kyo snickers to himself as he examines the picture of him and Ayumi posing on the deck of the Royal Unova; just as they were about to go under the Skyarrow bridge.

Kyo turns the photo around to its back where an inscription laid. It read "1/11/12" "Dated first of November…two-thousand and twelve, Kyo and Ayumi" Kyo reads aloud to himself. "Of course…It took a whole months pay to get two tickets on the Royal Unova.." Kyo continues reading aloud as he turns the light switch off again. "..Worth every cent…" Kyo snickering to himself "Happy sixteenth birthday, Yumi." sliding the picture under the pillow as he slides under his doona cover.
"What a day…."
Okay,So this is Ch.1 of my Pokemon Fan fiction, yes its only a short chapter-2 pages isint much but it's a start :) im not sure if i want to continue it but i had fun doing it so i think i might, please let me know what you think!

oh and some writing tips would ALSO be great! :D
~Gleddz

:iconguaguagirl:
:iconmirrorneko:
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:iconguaguagirl:
guaguagirl Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
This is an AMAAAAAAZZING story and I have sky-high hopes you will continiue it!!!! What age are the characters? Anyhoo, this is such a sweet story. The characters personalities really kind of jump out! Eh, I#m terrible at criticism, let alone constructive criticism, but all I can say is PLEASE WRITE MORE!!! :D Keep it up, Gleddz-kun!!
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:icongleddz:
Gleddz Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Crap. I knew i forgot something, i was supposed to add the age when Kyo was mentioning Ayumi's birthday xD
Kyo is 17 and Ayumi is 16! haha i was supposed to mention their birthday was on the same day hehe yeah i missed a fair bit! -edits-
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:iconguaguagirl:
guaguagirl Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013
Guahaha, thats so sweetie!! Is this a relationship thingabob? Kawaii!! Missing stuff is kay-de-kay, it leaves it short and thweet~
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:iconmirrorneko:
MirrorNeko Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is really good ^^ as some constructive criticism I would say vary how you are saying things a bit. Instead of kyo said, ayumi wondered, if ur gonna have a long conversation in the story put in a few he's and she's but not too many because then it could get stick in a rut, otherwise I think the story is perfect. I especially like hiw you are portraying the characters, their personality really comes across to the reader XD
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:icongleddz:
Gleddz Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Thanks Neko-chan ^.^ yeah im not gonna lie writing with...whats the word...context i think? has never been my strong point so i'll take all the help i can get! XD
Arigatougozaimasu!
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:iconmirrorneko:
MirrorNeko Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe, ur welcome, I can't wait to read the next installment of the story, I was actually really surprised because before I went on and saw what u had written I had started writing a story I was thinking of uploading, lol, I prob won't tho, it's not my best work hehe, but ur story is SO GOOOD!!!! I can't wait to read on!!! Eeekkkk!!!
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:icongleddz:
Gleddz Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013
Hehe thanks Neko chan ^.^I'm currently still writing ch 2 (yeahh havent made any/much progress)
You should upload the story you're writing anyhow! It doesn't matter if it "isin't your best work" :3
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:iconmirrorneko:
MirrorNeko Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol, we shall see :3 I bet ur chap 2 it gonna rock!
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